人物：团支书，小艾，小玲 场景：教室
团支书：同学们，同窗们，同志们，同胞们，同。。。同。。。同什么们！请大家听我说一句！
二人：说吧。
团支书：你们听不听啊？
二人：听着呢！
团支书：真的听？
二人：真的!
团支书：确定？
二人：确定。
团支书：不反悔？
二人：不反悔。
团支书：你们是认真的？没骗我？
二人：你说不说啊？
团支书：噢，我开始说了！----我要说什么来的？
二人晕倒。
团支书：啊！！！！对了！
二人坐起。
团支书：我真的忘了我要说什么！
二人又晕倒。
团支书：好了，言归传正，你们再不能醉死梦生了！你们一定要自强不息，自告奋勇，自，自，自。。。好好改过，抵制日货！
小玲：这都什么乱七八糟的！
团支书：小玲！你为什么上课要睡觉？
小玲：我困故我睡！
团支书：你为什么不在宿舍睡？
小玲：我也想啊！可老师不让走！
团支书：你就不能下课睡？
小玲：我下课了也睡！
团支书：那你晚上做什么？
小玲：你晚上做什么？
团支书：睡觉啊！
小玲：我们这个习性一样！
团支书：你除了睡觉还做什么？
小玲：很重要的事！----吃饭！
团支书：那学习怎么办？
小玲：我也想咨询这个问题呢！
团支书：同学！请端正态度！为什么一天到晚都睡觉？
小玲：是啊！
团支书：就不能一晚到天睡吗？
小玲晕倒。
小艾：哈哈哈！
团支书：小艾，你怎么总是玩游戏？
小艾：心理需要！
团支书：游戏有什么好玩的？课余时间玩玩就算了！最瞧不起你们这些玩游戏的，一点技术含量没有！告诉你老师很生气，后果很严重！
团支书：同学们，同窗们，同志们，同――
二人：你就直说吧！
团支书：同什么们！
二人晕倒。
团支书：燃烧我们的青春吧！
小玲：没火柴！
团支书：努力奋进吧！
小艾：没力气！团支书：抛弃你们的坏习惯！
小玲：它不抛弃我！
团支书：来来来，我们一起用功吧！
二人趴下：唉！
团支书：打起神精来，抓紧时间，让我们――――
下课铃响。
团支书：――――吃饭去！
二人：耶！
英语小品剧本--《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all
day long,cooking and washing.I have raised ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and chicken
and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valua bleasagr and son!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Goand ask your
son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you in sistedon
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen
to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrup tme!
L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And
I’ll marry whom ever you want me to
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I` m the mayor`s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter
Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go
and tell him.(下)
L(惊愕):What?The mayor`s son?The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty!
(突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,goand take her back!
J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!
接上面内容
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Give usall your money!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss LiuLanzhi next month.WE can go and
rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!
AB&C:Why?Apretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We have
