简短的英语笑话

2023-05-26 21:38 来源：网友发布作者：网友发布浏览：83

核心提示简短的英语笑话（精选12篇）　英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁，是一种重要的交际手段。下面是我为大家收集的简短的英语笑话（精选12篇），希望对大家有帮助！简短的英语笑话1 　These Are My Jeans! 　After

简短的英语笑话（精选12篇）

　英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁，是一种重要的交际手段。下面是我为大家收集的简短的英语笑话（精选12篇），希望对大家有帮助！

简短的英语笑话1

　These Are My Jeans!

　After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago

　“Look，look” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband“I can wear my old jeans again”

　Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans”

　那是我的裤子!

　一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”

简短的英语笑话2

　The mean mans party

　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow When the door open, push with your foot"

　"Why use my elbow and foot"

　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-hangded, are you"

　吝啬鬼请客。

　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

简短的英语笑话3

　All I do is pay

　"My family is just like a nation," Mr Brown told his colleague "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary"

　"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied "And what is your position"

　"Im the people All I do is pay"

　我要做的一切就是付钱。

　布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

　“听上去挺有意思的'，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”

　“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

简短的英语笑话4

　one day after school the teacher said to his students, "tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, i will permit him or her to go home earlier"

　一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”

　the next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed(涂抹) he was very angry and asked, "who did it please stand up!" "its me," said bob, "now, i can go home good-bye, sir"

　第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟，他非常生气的问：“谁涂的？请站起来！”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见！”

简短的英语笑话5

　before the final examination, tom told his mother, "mom, i had a dream last night that id passed todays exam"

　在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”

　"dont trust dreams, dear it is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite" mother replied

　“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。

　"then i do hope ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," tom said

　“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。

简短的英语笑话6

　Saving lives

　At a pre-med university in St Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this stuff"

　"To save lives" The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture

　A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again "So how does physics save lives" he persisted

　"It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school," replied the professor

简短的英语笑话7

　The mourners pain

　A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave

　The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die Why did you have to die”

　The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I dont wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than Ive ever seen before For whom do you mourn so deeply A child A parent”

　The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wifes first husband”

简短的英语笑话8

　Black eyes

　A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes His boss asked what happened

　The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye”

　The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner”

　“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in”

简短的英语笑话9

　Why should I give you money

　A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,00000 last year but didnt donate even a cent to a charity

　"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and its not covered by healthcare Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages Third, my sisters husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children"

　"Im terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money"

　The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if Im not giving them any money, why should I give you any"

简短的英语笑话10

　The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy

　由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

　客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

简短的英语笑话11

　One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter The son took the letter The father then remembered he didnt write address and addressees name on the envelope

　After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter into the mail box"

　"Certainly"

　"You didnt notice thatthe envelope does not have address and addressees name on it"

　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope"

　"Then whydidnt you take it back"

　"I thought that youdid not write address and addressee, because you wouldnt let me know to whom you send the letter!"

简短的英语笑话12

　The New Teacher

　George comes from school on the first of September

　"George, how did you like your new teacher" asked his mother

　"I didnt like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too"

;

英语小笑话 50个单词

1Is it a boy or a girl

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans Is it a boy or a girl

B: It's a girl She's my daughter

A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir I didn't know that you were her father

B: I'm not I'm her mother

翻译：是男孩还是女孩？

A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩？

B：是个女孩。她是我的女儿。

A:哦，对不起，先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。

B：我不是。我是她的妈妈。

2Pretty ugly

Mary: John says I'm pretty Andy says I'm ugly What do you think, Peter

Peter: I think you're pretty ugly

翻译：非常丑陋的

玛丽：约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样，彼得？

彼得：我觉得你很丑。

3Silent fart

A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem

"Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you What are we going to do"

The doctor replies:

"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing"

翻译：沉默的屁：沉默的屁

一个人走进医生的办公室，遇到了一个严重的问题。

“医生，我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里，工作，甚至在教堂，我放出无数的无声屁，无论我走到哪里！事实上，我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办？”

医生回答说：

“我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。”

3Pay tax with a smile

A: I hate paying my income tax

B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile

A: I'd like to but they insist on money!

翻译：A:我讨厌付所得税。

B：你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢？

A:我很愿意，但是他们坚持要钱！

4Take his place

An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor

"So, what is it" grumbled the governor

"Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place"

Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker"

翻译：代替他：取代他的位置

午夜过后，一位律师打电话给州长，坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。

“那么，这是什么呢？”州长抱怨道。

“Garber法官刚刚去世，”律师说，“我想接替他的位置。”

州长回答说：“好吧，如果殡仪馆还好的话，我就可以了。”

5I'm Sick

One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital

Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you

Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him I'm sick

翻译：我生病了

一天，哈米德感到很不舒服，他去了医院。

护士：哈米德，医生来见你。

哈米德：告诉他，我看不见他。我病了。

向姑姑道歉

爸爸：“儿子，你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻？”去跟她说声对不起。”

儿子：（走到姨妈跟前）“阿姨，对不起你是个笨蛋。”

6Say sorry to aunt

Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid Go and say sorry to her"

Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid"

6Undying love

Girl: Do you love me

Boy: Yes, dear

Girl: Would you die for me

Boy: No, mine is undying love

翻译：永恒的爱：永恒的爱

女孩：你爱我吗？

男孩：是的，亲爱的。

女孩：你愿意为我而死吗？

男孩：不，我的爱是永恒的

扩展资料：

look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受

young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年

short hair短头发

blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子，牛仔裤

do you你愿意吗

fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人

walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走，步行，散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行

'vehave 的缩略形式

At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通

and even乃至

简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）

英语小笑话 50个单词

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down

Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I fot to shake the bottle

妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？

汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了

look：（我收集的10个英文笑话带中文翻译）

1A bit of advice for those about to retire If you are only 65, never move to a retirement munity Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid'

这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社群。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

英语小笑话每句9个单词

Q: What does a nosey pepper do

A: Gets jalapeno business!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle

A: An Impasta

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest

A: An Investigator

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish

A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!

Q: "What's the difference beeen a guitar and a fish"

A: "You can't tuna fish"

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card"

Son: "My friend just borrowed it He wants to scare his parents"

英语小笑话 (初二)80个单词要翻译

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are o cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk"

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有乳酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片乳酪回到房间，把乳酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把乳酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话(10-30个单词)七年级

The Dog And The Shadow 狗和它的影子

A DOG,crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth,saw his own shadow in the water,and took it for that of another Dog,with a piece of meat double his own in sizeHe therefore let go his own,and fiercely attacked the other Dog,to get his larger piece from himHe thus lost both:that which he grasped at in the water,because it was a shadow; and his own,because the stream swept it away

一条狗嘴里叼块肉,来到一座桥上它看见水里有自己的影子,以为是另一条嘴里也叼著一块比自己那块肉大一倍的狗它忙丢下自己嘴里的那块肉,猛力地攻击水里的狗试图去抢它的肉结果,它两块肉都得不到因为那只是一个影子,它自己的影子而已真正的肉也被水冲走了

Which do you find more important,money or friends

B:Friends,of course

A:Why

B:I can always borrow money from friends

钱和朋友

甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要

乙：当然是朋友

甲：为什么

乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱

英语小笑话只要七个单词带翻译

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap After she woke up, she told her hu and, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day What do you think it means

You'll know tonight he said

That evening, the man came home with a all package and gave it to his wife Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled The meaning of dreams

一名年轻女子正在午睡。当她醒来时，她告诉她的丈夫，我刚才梦见你给我一个情人节的珍珠项链。你觉得它是什么意思？

今晚你就会知道, 他说。

那天晚上，该男子带着一个小包回家来，然后将它交给了他的妻子。她高兴地打开了它 - 却只发现是一本题为梦的书。

补充：

sentences的意思：句子，警句，定律。要根据上下文而定，你可以查词典解决。

英语小笑话50子

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom

"What kind of bird" my sister asked

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest" my sister encouraged her

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair "

Notes:

(1) inform v告诉

(2) nest n窝；巢

(3) description n描述

(4) encourage v鼓励

(5) resemble v 相似；类似

18鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous" the young snake asked his mother

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj有毒的

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the ooth marble floor and slid onto her back Her momentum carried her close to my shoes Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up Gaining her posure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet"

摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are o cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

Hospitality

好客

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean It means All Day I Dream about Sex我整天都在想着

性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

ADIDAS, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了

英语小笑话40词内

英语笑话故事

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself

Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket"

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are o cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"

"She is the one who sells the candy"

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

Hospitality

好客

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean It means All Day I Dream about Sex我整天都在想着

性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

ADIDAS, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了

一个英语小笑话，要求超过一百个单词

my little dog can't read

Mrs Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are o birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow Now who can tell us which is which

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer

Teacher: Please tell us

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow

两只鸟

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

求一个初二英语小笑话大约50个单词简学易懂急需

1Two Birds

Teacher: Here are o birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow Now who can tell us which is which

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer

Teacher: Please tell us

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow

两只鸟

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2The New Teacher

Gee es from school on the first of September

"Gee, how did you like your new teacher" asked his mother

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

that o and four were six too"

新老师

9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

望采纳

求一个大约50、60个英语单词的英文小笑话，带翻译。~~~~(>_<)~~~~

A iling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities "

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!

英文笑话：我没有蛀牙/No Cavities

小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”

妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”

这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。？

外国经典英语笑话

1、Boy: Is this seat empty Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down 男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。

3、My little dog can't read Mrs Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read

我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson ″Makes no difference ″replied customer ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk ″Any″ he responded

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them″

反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

5、A physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls

Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears

一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examinationMother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born

吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him -- He is really somebody What does he do-- A maintenance man in a cemetery

他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。

扩展资料：

笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。

人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。

同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。

参考资料：

：笑话

超好笑的英语笑话

外国经典英语笑话大全

　The doctor lives downstairs医生住在楼下

　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me"

　He surveyed her from head to foot "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs"

　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

　他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　它们是从美国直接带来的

　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real It made the old lady out of patience

　At last she could not hold any more, uttering "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money They are real US dollars They are directly from America"

　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的`美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

　He is really somebody他真是一个大人物

　My uncle has 1000 men under him

　He is really somebody What does he do

　A maintenance man in a cemetery

　我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　他真是一个大人物。干什么的

　墓地守墓人。

　请把胡子还给我

　A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved The barber brought one of his brooms After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms

　“Two pence,” said the man

　“No, no,” said the barber “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”

　The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave

　“A penny,” said the barber

　“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again”

　一个卖扫帚的人去理发店修面。理发师从他那里买了一把扫帚。当理发师给他修面后，问一下他扫帚的价格。

　买扫帚的人说：“两个便士。”

　“不，不。”理发师说：“ 我只出一个便士，如果你认为不够的话，可以把扫帚拿回去。”

　卖扫帚的人拿回了扫帚，随后问修面要付多少钱。

　“一便士。”理发师说。

　卖扫帚的人说：“我给你半个便士，如果不够的话，请把我的胡子还给我。”

　相亲

　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leaveWhen he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news My grandfather just died""Thank heavens," his date replied "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　Boss's idea

　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned

　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself

　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business"

　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first"

　由于我的打印机不能打印出清晰的字来，我就打电话给维修部。电话是一位非常和蔼的男人接的，他说我的打印机也许只是需要清理一下。

　他还说，如果让维修部清理的话要交50英镑的清理费，让我最好看看使用手册自己试着清理。

　当时我真的被他的话感动了，就问他：“你们老板知道你这样拒绝生意么”

　“事实上，这就是我们老板的主意，”雇员答道：“因为如果我们让用户先自行修理打印机的话就能挣更多的钱。”

;

有关英语的笑话

超好笑的英语笑话

　有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面我为你带来超好笑的英语笑话，希望你会喜欢。

超好笑的英语笑话一：hings Have Been Okay

　A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned"

　"You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long"

　"Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay"

　一切都正常

　一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开品说话，他们对此深感焦虑。他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：“妈妈，面包烤焦了。”

　“你说话了!你说话了!”他母亲叫了起来。“我太高兴了!但为什么花了这么长的时间呢”

　“哦，在这之前，”那男孩说，“一切都很正常。”

超好笑的英语笑话二：Genie

　A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses

　On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball Don't knock out any windows It'll cost us a fortune to fix"

　The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course

　The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses All right, let's go up there, apologize, and see how much this is going to cost"

　They walked up and knocked on the door A voice said, "Come on in They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer

　A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window"

　"Uh, yeah Sorry about that," the husband replied

　"No, actually, I want to thank you I'm a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle You've released me I'm allowed to grant three wishes -- I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself"

　"Okay, great!" the husband said "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life"

　"No problem -- it's the least I could do And you, what do you want" the genie said, looking at the wife

　"I want a house in every country of the world," she said

　"Consider it done," the genie replied

　"And what's your wish, genie", the husband said

　"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years My wish is to sleep with your wife"

　The husband looked at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey I guess I don't care"

　The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours

　After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband, anyway"

　"Thirty-five," she replied

　"And he still believes in genies That's amazing"

超好笑的英语笑话三：Meals on Wheels

　once upon a time, there was a cat who died When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth She told the Lord that it was awful -- she had to sleep in cold backalleys, where there was no food and life was hard God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way -- but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on

　The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy

　A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth

　The earth was no better for them than it was the cat

　They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates

　One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven She explained that it was absolutely wonderful

　The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels

超好笑的英语笑话四：Who Is This 你是哪一个

　My two sister and I were all away at various colleges at the same time One day, after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, I phoned home for some consolation1 and understanding of my unique problems

　When my dad answered, I immediately launched into my litany(连祷，冗长故事) offrustrations2 with college life As I paused to catch my breath, he said, "OK, honeynow, fist of all, who is this"

　我和两个妹妹同时离开家去不同的大学读书。经历了太多的危机，也厌倦了受到与其他大学生相同的对待之后，有一天我给家里打了个电话，就我独有的问题寻求安慰和理解。

　爸爸接起电话后，我立刻开始历数我大学生活中的挫折。当我停下来歇口气时，爸爸说：“好啦，亲爱的现在，首先告诉我，你是哪一个”

;

有哪些英语小笑话？

笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。它渊源流长、值得研究、探讨。下面是我带来的有关英语的笑话，欢迎阅读!

有关英语的笑话篇一

　A better dishwasher 一台更好的洗碗机

　Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour

　Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen

　"Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher1 It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully"

　"Oh " Mrs Williams answered" And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too "

　Mrs Briggs was surprised "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course"

　"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said

　"Oh" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them"

　She laughed nastily2 "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered"He dries the dishes and puts them away"

　威廉姆斯太太住在伦敦的的一条小街上，现在她有了一位新邻居。

　这邻居叫布里格斯太太，她对她的高档家具，漂亮地毯和新厨房谈论很多。

　“你知道吗” 有一天她对威廉姆斯太太说道：“我有一台新洗碗机。它洗盘子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。”

　“哦”威廉姆斯太太回答说，“它能弄干盘子、杯子和刀叉吗还可以把它们放进碗柜吗”

　布里格斯太太很吃惊。“ 嗯，”她回答说，“洗碗机里的盘子、杯子和刀叉一小时后就干了，但当然啰，洗碗机不能把它们收起来。”

　威廉姆斯太太说：“我有一台洗碗机已经12年半了。”

　“哦”布里格斯太太回答说，“你的洗碗机在洗完盘子、杯子和刀叉后能把它们放进碗柜吗”她不怀好意地大笑起来。

　“是的，他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答说，“他把碗盘刀叉弄干后就把它们收起来。”

有关英语的笑话篇二

　My God 我的上帝啊

　A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector

　Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up："You've been on for five miles -- that'll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase"

　The Scotsman responds："I haven't, I want to have a penny fare, just got on this very moment" They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged1 and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs2 the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls3 it out of the bus

　It lands in the river and sinks without a trace The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "My God!Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket—but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny"

　一个苏格兰人提着一只大箱子，坐上了一辆开往伦敦的汽车。上车后，在汽车行驶了5英里的这段路上，他一直在试图躲开售票员。

　售票员最终还是找到了他，并叫他补票:“你已经坐了5英里了，请付50便士，你的箱子还要付10便士。”

　苏格兰人答道：“我是不会付那么多钱的。我只付1便士，因为我刚刚上车。”最后，他们争吵起来。售票员越吵越生气，终于在车子行驶到伦敦大桥上时，抓起苏格兰人的箱子，用力扔出了车外。

　箱子掉进河里，沉了下去。苏格兰人惊呆了，怔怔地站在那里，片刻之后对售票员说：“我的上帝啊!你不仅向我多收票钱，现在还淹死了我的儿子强尼。”

有关英语的笑话篇三

　Where Am I 我这是在哪儿

　Nat lived in a small town in England He always stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought1, "I've never been outside this country All my friends go to Spain3, and they like it very much, so this year I'm going4 to go there too"

　First he went to Madrid and stayed in a small hotel for a few5 days On the first morning he went out for a walk In England people drive on the left, but in Spain they drive on the right Natforgot6 about this, and while7 he was8 crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked9 him down

　Nat lay10 on the ground11 for a few seconds and then he sat12 up and said13: "Where am I" An old man was selling maps at the side2 of the street, and he at oncecame14 to Nat and said, "Map of the city, sir"

　兰特住在英格兰的一座小镇上。他的假日一直都是在这里度过的，可是去年，他想：“我从来都没有出过国。我的朋友们都很喜欢去日本度假，今年我也准备去那里。”

　他先是去了马德里，并在一家小旅馆住了几天。来到这里的第一天，他一早起来去散步。在英国，人们都是靠左行驶，但是西班牙人都是靠右行驶。兰特忘记了这点，于是在他穿过一条繁杂的街道时，不幸被一辆自行车撞倒了。

　兰特在地上躺了几秒钟，随后坐起来问道：“我这是在哪儿”这时，路边正好有一位老人在卖地图，于是他立即走上前去，对兰特说：“先生，买地图吗

有关英语的笑话篇四

　A dogss bad habit 狗的坏习惯

　As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit Every time I hung my wash out on the clothesline, she would yank it down Drastic1 action was called for

　I put a white kitchen towel on the line and waited Each time she pulled it off, I scolded her After two weeks the towel was untouched Then I hung out a large wash and left to do someerrands2 When I came home, my clean clothes were scattered3 all over the yard On the line was the white kitchen towel

　作为一名专业的驯兽师，我对自己的狗养成的一个坏习惯感到很苦恼。每当我把洗好的衣服搭在晾衣绳上时，它总会猛地把衣物全扯下来。对此，我必须要采取严厉的措施。

　我在绳上搭了一条白色的厨房毛巾，每当它把毛巾扯下来时，我就会训斥它一顿。两个星期后，它再也不碰毛巾了。于是，我把许多洗干净的衣服搭在晾衣绳上后，就出去办事了。等我回到家时，洗好的衣服分散在院子的各个角落，只有那条白毛巾依然搭在绳子上。

有关英语的笑话篇五

　Save Money 省钱

　Henry was from the United1 States and he had come to London for a holiday

　One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said, "I want to see doctor Can you give me the name of a good one"

　The clerk looked in a book and then said, "Dr2 Kenneth Grey, 61010"

　Henry said, "Thank yon very much Is he expensive"

　"Well," the clerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies3 for later visits"

　Henry decided4 to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said, "I've come again, doctor"

　For a few seconds the doctor looked at his face carefully without saying anything Then he nodded and said, "Oh, yes" He examined him and then said, "Everything's going as it should do Just continue with the medicine I gave you last time"

　美国人亨利来到伦敦度假。

　有一天，他感觉不舒服，便来到旅馆服务台向服务员咨询：“我想看病，你能帮我找一位好医生吗”

　服务员翻阅了一下本子，然后说：“肯尼思·格雷医生，61010。”

　亨利说：“非常感谢，他看病收费贵吗”

　“喔，”服务员回答说，“初诊患者收费2英镑，复诊收费15英镑。”

　亨利琢磨着能省下50便士，于是，他去看病时对医生说：“我又来了，医生。”

　医生一言不发地端详着他的面容，过了一会儿点点头说道：“哦，对。”医生给亨利做完检查后说：“病情得到了控制，继续吃上次我给你的药就可以了。”

1、英语笑话（一）

老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”

小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet？

老师说：Go ahead

小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：MayIgotothetoilet