超好笑的英语笑话
有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面我为你带来超好笑的英语笑话，希望你会喜欢。
超好笑的英语笑话一：hings Have Been Okay
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned"
"You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long"
"Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay"
一切都正常
一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开品说话，他们对此深感焦虑。他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：“妈妈，面包烤焦了。”
“你说话了!你说话了!”他母亲叫了起来。“我太高兴了!但为什么花了这么长的时间呢”
“哦，在这之前，”那男孩说，“一切都很正常。”
超好笑的英语笑话二：GenieA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses
On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball Don't knock out any windows It'll cost us a fortune to fix"
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course
The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses All right, let's go up there, apologize, and see how much this is going to cost"
They walked up and knocked on the door A voice said, "Come on in They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer
A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window"
"Uh, yeah Sorry about that," the husband replied
"No, actually, I want to thank you I'm a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle You've released me I'm allowed to grant three wishes -- I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself"
"Okay, great!" the husband said "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life"
"No problem -- it's the least I could do And you, what do you want" the genie said, looking at the wife
"I want a house in every country of the world," she said
"Consider it done," the genie replied
"And what's your wish, genie", the husband said
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years My wish is to sleep with your wife"
The husband looked at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey I guess I don't care"
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours
After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband, anyway"
"Thirty-five," she replied
"And he still believes in genies That's amazing"
超好笑的英语笑话三：Meals on Wheelsonce upon a time, there was a cat who died When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth She told the Lord that it was awful -- she had to sleep in cold backalleys, where there was no food and life was hard God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way -- but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on
The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy
A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth
The earth was no better for them than it was the cat
They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates
One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven She explained that it was absolutely wonderful
The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels
超好笑的英语笑话四：Who Is This 你是哪一个My two sister and I were all away at various colleges at the same time One day, after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, I phoned home for some consolation1 and understanding of my unique problems
When my dad answered, I immediately launched into my litany(连祷，冗长故事) offrustrations2 with college life As I paused to catch my breath, he said, "OK, honeynow, fist of all, who is this"
我和两个妹妹同时离开家去不同的大学读书。经历了太多的危机，也厌倦了受到与其他大学生相同的对待之后，有一天我给家里打了个电话，就我独有的问题寻求安慰和理解。
爸爸接起电话后，我立刻开始历数我大学生活中的挫折。当我停下来歇口气时，爸爸说：“好啦，亲爱的现在，首先告诉我，你是哪一个”
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英语笑话
近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。我精心收集了英语笑话大全带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
英语笑话大全带翻译：The amazing golf ball
神奇的高尔夫球
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
一个高尔夫球手正要发球，跑上来一个无限谄媚的小个子推销员，喊到：“ 等一下。在您发球前，我请您看一样超神奇的东西。”
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it"
高尔夫球手颇感被打搅，说道：“什么东西啊”
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman "You can never lose it!"
“是一个很特别的高尔夫球 - 一个永远不会被弄丢的球!”
"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water
“永远不会丢的球”，高尔夫球手嘲讽地说，“如果球被打到水里呢”
"No problem," says the salesman "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it"
“没问题。它能漂起来，还能探测到哪里是岸，然后自己就能转到岸边。”
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods"
“那么如果掉到树丛里呢”
"Easy," says the salesman "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed"
“简单。它能发出嘟嘟声，这样你就能循声而至了。”
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark"
“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢”
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
“球会在黑暗中发光啊!一句话，你永远不会找不到这个球。”
The golfer buys it at once "Just one question," he says to the salesman "Where did you get it"
高尔夫球手当即买下这个球，随口问了一句：“你从哪搞到它的”
"I found it"
“是我捡到的啦!”
英语笑话大全带翻译：这是我的位子It was a woman's first time on a plane She boarded the plane and found herself a windowseat
一位女士头一回坐飞机。她登机后发现自己的座位仅靠窗子。
After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat She ignored himand told him to go away
她坐好后，一位男士走过来坚持说她坐了他的位子。这位女士根本不听，只告诉他走开。
"Okay," replied the man "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane"
“好吧，”男士回答道。“如果你真想这样，你来开飞机吧。”
英语笑话大全带翻译：许愿也要小心A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day
一对夫妇结婚已经25年了，正在一起庆祝他们的结婚纪念日和60岁生日。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each
正庆祝时，一位仙女从天而降说25年来他们一直相亲相爱，她将实现他们每个人一个愿望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand
妻子说想环游世界。仙女握住了她的手，只听轰的一声。妻子手中出现了各种入场券和票。
Next, it was the husband's turn He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me"
接着就该丈夫许愿了。他顿了一下，然后不好意思地说：“嗯，我想要一个比我年轻30岁的妻子。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety
仙女拿起魔杖，只听轰的一声!丈夫变成90岁的老翁了。
英语笑话大全带翻译：用金钱来表达Boy:Honey,my love of you is beyond expression
小伙子:亲爱的,我对你的爱,简直无法用语言来表达
Girl:Then you can use money to express it
姑娘:那你就用金钱来表达吧!
分类: 休闲/爱好 >> 幽默滑稽
问题描述:
初中水平,150词左右,附中文
解析:
英语幽默笑话：
一：She Didn"t Say Anything
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then plete silence
The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。
“How do you know” asked her father
“She didn"t say anything”
二：I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her hu and, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty Would you like to wash it now”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary We can turn the sheet over Is that all right”
三、40 over Li lotus heart disease arises suddenly, is escorted to the hospital first aid The condition extremely too bad, the Li lotus felt oneself nearly all already died
In the rescue, the Li lotus has heard God's sound suddenly: "You cannot die, you also may live for 45 years 6 months 02 days, has the courage to go on living!"
Certainly, the result was the Li lotus miracle is revived After the body recovers, the Li lotus thought oneself also can live for more than 40 years, then □has anxiously is leaving the hospital, first repairs the face, then makes up the lip, then is the prosperous chest, finally is the thin abdomen, continuously has undergone 4 co etology surgeries altogether, then was called the specialized hair stylist to visit the service, changed has sent the color, has made the new tide hairstyle, the entire stature looked at □the young several years old
After last the reshaping surgery pletes, the Li lotus then happily handled left the hospital the procedure, □thought actually the ambulance which rapidly 驶过 by 撞死 in the entrance
After the heaven, the Li lotus has been angry interrogates God: "Since you had said I also may live for 45 years, then you should not eat the word"
God awkwardly 耸了耸肩, replies: "Really is sorry, at that time, the vehicle hit when you I have not recognized am you"
英语笑话这里面有的，可以看看：
sxuu/loveu/Article/english/yyxx/200508/22000
英语幽默
双关歇后语：）~
sxszjzx/~t207/wht_2
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning
Tom:Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow"
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行"
Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class
Jack:I don`t know ,father
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word
Jack:Our teacher ,father
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谢谢！
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